I heard this quote, and it is so profound I need you to take out a piece of paper and a pen and write this one down: “The version of you that other people have in their mind is not your responsibility.”
Earlier in my life I spent so much time wondering what to wear: Dress or Jeans? Dress or Jeans? What are other people going to think? If I wear jeans, it will look too bummy, but if I wear a dress, it will look like I am trying too hard. I considered other people’s opinions in all that I did. Who should I date? What should I major in? What care should I drive? Even what color of lipstick I should wear!
There’s a psychological concept called reflective appraisal process, and it is all about how we imagine how other people see us.
Think about that: how we IMAGINE how other people see us. It doesn’t even matter how they see us, it’s how we THINK they do. Then we start making decisions based on that. We change our entire lives based on something that might not even be real that we think someone else is thinking about us: what to wear, how to act, and even major decisions. Soon we don’t even know who we are.
I’m going to tell you right now: DO WHAT YOU WANT! Do what is right for you. I like dresses, and if someone wants to think that I am trying too hard when I wear my dress, that is just them being judgmental or insecure or having nothing better to do in their lives. I actually feel sorry that they have to fill the valuable seconds of their lives judging my outfit. Hmmm. The version of you that other people have in their mind is NOT your responsibility. You are responsible for your own amazing and extraordinary self, so go out there and Shine Already!